Mr. Lucas Schools A Writer (An Are You Being Served? Story

Mr. Lucas Schools A Writer An “Are You Being Served?” story

Lunch had ended and the staff from the ladies and gents departments were back at their workstations all except Mr. Granger who had taken a detour to the rest room after having the steak and kidney pie for lunch.
Mrs. Slocomb was regaling Miss Brahms with her adventures from the pub the previous evening.

Mr. Humphries was helping a customer with a coat and Captain Peacock was fulfilling his usual function, standing around with his nose in the air, when the lift opened and a woman emerged. She was the epitome of a true English rose. She stood over five and a half feet high in her three inch heels. Her skin was as fair as the whitest alabaster while her deep blue eyes contrasted perfectly with her flaming red hair.

The lady in question was dressed stylishly in a black pencil skirt paired with a white blouse and she had a trench coat over her outfit due to the typical rainy English weather. Captain Peacock noticed the lady and sidled up next to her.

“Are you being served Ma’am?” he asked in his most pompous tone.

The woman turned and gave him a dazzling smile in return. Though her blouse wasn’t tight the top few buttons had been left undone revealing the top of her creamy bosom. Captain Peacock’s eyes were drawn irresistibly to the hidden depths there and he was so distracted he didn’t hear what she had said. The woman rolled her eyes and repeated her statement.

“Not yet you naughty man, I’m interested in a pair of trousers” she said in a posh manner.

“Yes Ma’am the ladies department is this way if you will follow me.”

“You misunderstood me. I’m looking for a pair of men’s’ trousers.”

“Sorry Ma’am, a gift perhaps. Follow me.”

They walked to the menswear counter where Mr. Lucas stood arranging the sock drawer. When he saw the red headed beauty he fumbled half the socks onto the counter and quickly shoveled them into the drawer.

“Mr. Lucas is Mr. Granger free?”

He looked around carefully around before answering.

“No Captain Peacock, it seems his lunch didn’t agree with him and he has yet to return.”

“I did warn him about his selection, it did seem a little dicey. Well then is Mr. Humphries free?”

“The thing of it is Captain Peacock, he’s helping a customer right now.”

“All right then Mr. Lucas, this lady is looking for a pair of trousers. Please assist her.”

Having fulfilled his function Captain Peacock wandered off looking like he was smelling a disagreeable odor.

“Is he always so stuffy and pretentious?” the woman asked bringing a smile to Mr. Lucas’ face.

“That is how a floorwalker is supposed to look” answered Mr. Lucas. “Now you’re looking for a pair of trousers. What size is your husband?”

The woman laughed, a musical bell like sound very easy on the ears.

“Oh no, I’m not married” she answered.

“Sorry, your father then?”

The woman just shook her head no.

“Well to save us some time you can tell me the size you need” Mr. Lucas said.

“That’s the thing, I’m not sure what size I need. You see the trousers are for me.”

“I see. Well then I’ll need your measurements Ma’am.”

The woman put her finger and thumb on her chin as she thought about it.

“My measurements are 34c-26-38 and you may call me Jayney not Ma’am.”

“Well Jayney while your measurements are very impressive the waist one is the only one I need from those. But I also will need to know your inside leg measurement. Do you happen to know that?”

“No I’m sorry I don’t. But surely you must know how to obtain it.”

“Well yes I normally take the measurement, but the customer isn’t usually wearing a skirt. That does complicate things somewhat.”

“Would it help if I removed the skirt?” Jayney asked innocently.

Mr. Lucas swallowed hard before answering. “It would help but we will have to do it in the dressing room area where it’s more private. Please come with me.”

Jayney followed as they passed to the dressing room. Mr. Lucas opened the first curtain and was confronted with the vision of Mr. Humphries standing behind a gentleman with his arms wrapped around the front of the man.

“Sorry” Mr. Lucas called out as he closed the curtain. He opened the next curtain to an empty room. He gestured for Jayney to enter and he followed before closing the curtain. The room wasn’t very large and they were in such close proximity that he could smell her intoxicating perfume. Jayney turned her back to him.

“Do you mind helping me with my zipper? It’s so tiny I always have a problem with it.”

Mr. Lucas gallantly pulled down the zipper revealing a band of creamy flesh between her blouse and her red, silk knickers. As she slid the skirt down her suspenders and black nylon stockings were uncovered. Mr. Lucas wiped his brow with his handkerchief as suddenly he felt very warm. After removing her skirt completely she turned and smiled.

“Will you be able to do it now, I mean get the measurement?”

“Certainly Jayney” he said while crouching down. Ever the gentleman he breathed on the metal end of the tape measure to warm it before it touched her soft skin. When he placed the tape measure right at the top of her inner leg Jayney couldn’t help giggling.

“Oh that tickles” she said.

The feeling to Mr. Lucas wasn’t a tickling feeling but a randy one as his crotch became restricted by the blood flowing to his member, which had already started growing. Get it together man, he thought to himself, just get this measurement before you do something you’ll regret. As he attempted the task something caught his eye. One stray red hair was sneaking through the leg band making Mr. Lucas even crazier. Biting the bullet, not what he really wanted to bite, Mr. Lucas held the tape measure to Jayney’s inside leg and took the measurement. He then removed the tape and stood.

“I’ll be back with those trousers in a few moments Jayney” he said while positioning himself so as not to reveal his erection.

He returned with the trousers and handed them thru the curtain to Jayney. A couple of minutes later she stepped out wearing them looking smashing. She first did a twirl then put her hand on her hip in a saucy manner.

“How do they look on me?” she asked.

“I can say in all truthfulness that I’ve never seen a pair of men’s trousers worn so well” he answered.
“But may I ask why you need them if I’m not being too forward?”

“Well I hope you don’t think me too silly, but it’s for research for a story I’m working on.”


“Yes you see I’m a writer and I’m trying to write it from a male perspective.”

“Well will wearing trousers help?”

Lowering her voice Jayney said “I certainly hope so. Because not only do I have to write as a male, I have to be convincing as a male describing a sexual encounter with a woman.”

When she told him the last part her face became as red as her hair.

“I can understand it from my point of view, so to speak, but it’s harder as a man.”

Now at this point it was harder for a man, if that man was Mr. Lucas, as he was quite hard. Jayney meanwhile continued speaking.

“If only there was some way I could pick a man’s brain about such a thing, I feel I could do this.”

Just then an idea occurred to Mr. Lucas that was a stroke of genius. Later the gents department were discussing their customers.

“Would you believe Mr. Lucas that the zipper on the coat was stuck on the lining so I had to help the customer get it down. But it worked out for the best. He had an extra ticket to the ballet and invited me and of course he bought the coat. Now what about your customer Mr. Lucas. If Mr. Granger knew there was a lady in the gent’s dressing room he wouldn’t have recovered yet, I think.”

“Her name is Jayney and I’m going to help her think like a man this evening for a story. And the best thing is her parents are on holiday so she will have the flat to herself. Hopefully she will understand a bit more about the male sex drive after this evening Mr. Humphries.”

After the store closed Mr. Lucas doused himself with cologne and went to her flat. Jayney greeted him wearing the trousers and a plain white button down shirt.

“I’ve been wearing the trousers since arriving but ...

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